Reach for the (Minus) Stars: Sky's Collection of Bad Matches

[Sky]

Entry #1004
Kevin Nash vs. The Outlaw
Taped Fists First Blood Match
TNA Destination X - March 13, 2005​

Finally for this show, we take a look at TNA's failed attempt to make a credible main eventer out of Billy Gunn! Oh, sorry, "The New Age Outlaw", because WWE owns that name. Oh, sorry, "The Outlaw", because WWE owns that name too. Oh, sorry, "Kip James", because WWE watched Destination X and judged the name was too similar. A DUD from Dave and 2.67/10 from Cagematch. Wonder why this didn't work out, apart from the name issue?

Gunn's theme is an obvious Ass Man ripoff. Still a more convincing ripoff than the one of "Still DRE" that Nash has. What do you think a Kevin Nash vs. Billy Gunn match would be like? Stand-up punching? Indeed. Nash does some corner elbows and that long-leg boot choke. Gunn briefly recovers with knees but Nash clotheslines him. Then Gunn starts yanking Nash's bad knees over the apron. The Ultimate X structure gets abused again, this time to hurt Nash's leg. Gunn digs into a toolbox to get a screwdriver and threatens to jab it into Nash's eye. Who in the TNA writer's room loved screwdriver-based eye trauma. It's not the last time that will come up. Nash catapults Gunn TO THE OUTSIDE and begins the furniture face-bashing.

Ref tries to stop Nash from using a chair, for some strange reason. Gunn punches Nash in the cock to even it back up. Gunn nails Nash with the chair but Nash gets his hands up so he's safe from bleeding. Back to the toolbox for Gunn who gets wire cutters and exposes the buckle. Ref again forgets it's No DQ and tries to stop it. Both men try to bash each other's faces into the metal. Big boot by Nash but Snake Eyes countered and Gunn shoves Nash into the referee! That's right, it's a patented Russo REF BUMP! Nash eats buckle, but doesn't bleed. Nut shot to Gunn, and two Snake Eyes to a second exposed buckle busts Gunn open. While Nash tries to wake the ref, Jeff Jarrett shows up and blasts Nash with the belt, and some guy in a coat cleans Gunn off and stops the bleeding. When the ref's out, he sees Nash and calls it.

Traaaaaaash. What is with Russo's obsession with subverting First Blood rules? It's never good. The match sucked too, obviously.

 

[Sky]

Entry #1005
Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff
TNA Impact Wrestling - May 19, 2011​

Might as well log this one in the bad match thread, because I'm still meant to be clearing that out. Fuuuuuck. I've not got enough time to do all this before I cancel my sub.

So yeah, we start off with Matt Hardy vs. Nick Jackson (no, I'm not using their TNA names). The basics to kick off, arm wringers, headlocks, shoulderblocks. Nick does a dropkick to get edge. He grabs the arm and the Bucks do a double team move or two including a stomp to the wrung arm. Seemingly out of nowhere Hardy hits the Side Effect a couple of times. On goes a cravate, and I'm fine with these neck rest holds as it sets up the Ice Pick which is a cool move. Nick fights up and the Bucks do a headscissors/dropkick thing. Matt (Jackson) goes for ground-and-pound but Bisch gets a boot in. A bit of Poetry in Motion from the Bucks, then Nick pounds and Bisch gets another kick off.

Hardy takes advantage with his power and does a suplex. Matt J hits a jawbreaker and tries something else but Matt H does a sleeper slam which is a very nice move. He wants to tag Bisch in but Nick hits a splash off the top to the back for two. Nick goes for the big 450 Splash but Matt H gets his knees up. Now Matt J is trapped in the Ice Pick, and Matt H decides he wants to scream while he does the submission. NOW he tags in Bisch, and Matt H holds Matt J up... you Don't Know This Spot, as Bisch does manage to get in his karate kicks before pinning Matt J with a rather well-applied cradle for three.

Not awful, actually, except in its concept. A massive vote of no confidence in the Bucks for no real reason.

 

[Loochblade]

Not awful, actually, except in its concept. A massive vote of no confidence in the Bucks for no real reason.

Yea, they were out the door anyways at that point. Wasn't this one of their last matches in the company?