Vickie starts out the show with some typical woman crap. "Im not really evil, it was Edges fault" whatever. Anyway, she says tonight there will be qualifying matches for Smackdowns Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. (NOTE: Thanks to the two cocksuckers who just HAD TO SPOIL IT FOR ME, you get a big go fuck yourself from me). But to start out we get a ladies match....
Natalya vs. Maria
Is it me or does it sound like porn girls are wrestling? Anyway, we get some mat wrestling to start out the match, the girls showing off what they got. We get the classic headlock takedown into headscissors in duplicate. They trade armbars but Nattie is stronger so she takes control (ZOMG HOW CAN THE BIGGER PERSON DOMINATE) but Maria does a random flippy into an armdrag to get out. Nattie, however is persistent and works her knee over using that sla into the ropes thing. Maria tosses her out though when she fights back. Maria follows her out when Maryse interferes and causes a DQ. Michelle makes the save.
Winner: Maria via DQ
Match Rating: **
Comments: I thought Victoria and Nattie were BFF?
Big Show asks Vickie who he is facing tonight. Vickie tells him he isnt facing anyone. HULK NO LIKE!
The vs. Hawkins vs. Ryder vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Funaki vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Armando vs. Super Crazy vs. Ryan Braddock vs. Scotty Goldman in a 10 Man Battle Royal
Really? These fucks are the best you can do!? My god. Come on!! Ugh anyway, the match itself is pretty good as battle royals go especially when the whole HULK SMASH thing happened, here is the order of elimination
Vladimr Kozlov - 1
Scotty Goldman - 2
Ryan Braddock - 3
Hawks/Ryder/Super Crazy - 4
Armando - 5
Funaki - 6
Jimmy Wang Yang - 7
That means.....
Winner: The
Match Rating: **
Comments: I loved the way "The" won the match. Show tossed him onto Zeke who caught him. His feet never hit the ground, therefore he wins.
R-Truth is coming
MVP cuts a nice promo (from Summerslam). He tells the WWE Title "IM COMIN!"
MVP vs. Festus
MVP hits and runs on the big man to start but then tries to OUT PUNCH Festus. For every 4 or so punches Mr. 307 throws, Festus throws ONE that takes him down. MVP realizes that he has to outsmart Festus and he does, throwing Festus into the steel post. He then works it over for a few minutes until Festus headbutts his way out and uses his fists to get back into it. But MVP is too smart and goes back to the arm. The crowd wills Festus back into it and gives him a samoan drop. Festus with the ass and shoulder tackle. MVP rolls out. Festus gives chase. MVP tries a piledriver but gets backdropped. The ref at 8. MVP drills Jesse with the drive by kick. Festus checks on him and gets counted out!
Winner: MVP via count out
Match Rating: **3/4
Comments: Damn good match, but not a 3. These guys did their best in a short, more than likely impromptu, match. Id like to see them go at it again actually.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay
Finlay controls the match at the beginning with some great wrestling but Shelton backs off. Back into it and Shelton cheapshots Finlay which starts out a mini brawl. Finlay takes over with some super stiff offense but makes a mistake and throws himself into the steel post. Shelton then takes over with some nasty stiff offense for the next 5 minutes. Benjamin just imposes his will on Finlay with a nice array of stiff offense. The Irishman uses the apron to get some offense in but Benji takes it back. Finlay tries a backslide but that isnt enough. Exploder by Shelton only garners a 2. Finny comes back into it with his Finlay offense (ass sit). Mike Knox comes out and distracts Finlay giving Shelton the opportunity to hit PAYDIRT for the win.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
Match Rating: ***
Comments: Great fucking match despite the ending. I WANT MORE LIKE THIS!!!!
Post Match: Finlay gets his ass kicked by Mike Knox
Triple H comes out for commentary on the final qualifying match for the SD Championship Scramble
The Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy
HHH says it was a monumental task, beating Khali. I think what he meant was
it was a task to carry his no talent ass. HHH then makes a Frankenstein joke about Khali. ZING! Hardy tries to play the old cat and mouse game with Khali but the big blueberry doesnt try and play along. Khali dominates from here on because he's so GOD DAMN BIG. Jeff tries every thing he can to get back into it but he cant. That is, until he stunners Khali on the top rope he hits a twist of fate and is about to go for the Swanton until Funion Sing gets on the apron. Trips gets involved and pulls the pip-squeek down. He then goes to crush him with a chair until Khali grabs him. The Great Khali gets blasted in the head. A BOTCHED whisper in the wind and a swanton gives Jeff the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: **1/2
Comments: "Perfectly acceptable wrestling"
H cuts a promo after the match. I will win. Yeah we get it. Kenny Dykstra tries to make a name for himself but HHH makes an example of himm.
Vickie tries to apologize half assedly to Taker and he will have none of it. He tells Vickie IM HERE FOR YOUR SOUL!! OOOOOOOOO. The Undertaker then lays waste to La Familia and thats a wrap.
This Smackdown had better matches but I dont think it was as good as last weeks. I think its because the WWE is so flustered after the PPV and trying to get the next angles going. Anyway, thats it for this week, see you next time!!
Oh yeah, SP has a Review he does AND GO READ THE NO SMARK ZONE!!!
Natalya vs. Maria
Is it me or does it sound like porn girls are wrestling? Anyway, we get some mat wrestling to start out the match, the girls showing off what they got. We get the classic headlock takedown into headscissors in duplicate. They trade armbars but Nattie is stronger so she takes control (ZOMG HOW CAN THE BIGGER PERSON DOMINATE) but Maria does a random flippy into an armdrag to get out. Nattie, however is persistent and works her knee over using that sla into the ropes thing. Maria tosses her out though when she fights back. Maria follows her out when Maryse interferes and causes a DQ. Michelle makes the save.
Winner: Maria via DQ
Match Rating: **
Comments: I thought Victoria and Nattie were BFF?
Big Show asks Vickie who he is facing tonight. Vickie tells him he isnt facing anyone. HULK NO LIKE!
The vs. Hawkins vs. Ryder vs. Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Funaki vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Armando vs. Super Crazy vs. Ryan Braddock vs. Scotty Goldman in a 10 Man Battle Royal
Really? These fucks are the best you can do!? My god. Come on!! Ugh anyway, the match itself is pretty good as battle royals go especially when the whole HULK SMASH thing happened, here is the order of elimination
Vladimr Kozlov - 1
Scotty Goldman - 2
Ryan Braddock - 3
Hawks/Ryder/Super Crazy - 4
Armando - 5
Funaki - 6
Jimmy Wang Yang - 7
That means.....
Winner: The
Match Rating: **
Comments: I loved the way "The" won the match. Show tossed him onto Zeke who caught him. His feet never hit the ground, therefore he wins.
R-Truth is coming
MVP cuts a nice promo (from Summerslam). He tells the WWE Title "IM COMIN!"
MVP vs. Festus
MVP hits and runs on the big man to start but then tries to OUT PUNCH Festus. For every 4 or so punches Mr. 307 throws, Festus throws ONE that takes him down. MVP realizes that he has to outsmart Festus and he does, throwing Festus into the steel post. He then works it over for a few minutes until Festus headbutts his way out and uses his fists to get back into it. But MVP is too smart and goes back to the arm. The crowd wills Festus back into it and gives him a samoan drop. Festus with the ass and shoulder tackle. MVP rolls out. Festus gives chase. MVP tries a piledriver but gets backdropped. The ref at 8. MVP drills Jesse with the drive by kick. Festus checks on him and gets counted out!
Winner: MVP via count out
Match Rating: **3/4
Comments: Damn good match, but not a 3. These guys did their best in a short, more than likely impromptu, match. Id like to see them go at it again actually.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay
Finlay controls the match at the beginning with some great wrestling but Shelton backs off. Back into it and Shelton cheapshots Finlay which starts out a mini brawl. Finlay takes over with some super stiff offense but makes a mistake and throws himself into the steel post. Shelton then takes over with some nasty stiff offense for the next 5 minutes. Benjamin just imposes his will on Finlay with a nice array of stiff offense. The Irishman uses the apron to get some offense in but Benji takes it back. Finlay tries a backslide but that isnt enough. Exploder by Shelton only garners a 2. Finny comes back into it with his Finlay offense (ass sit). Mike Knox comes out and distracts Finlay giving Shelton the opportunity to hit PAYDIRT for the win.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
Match Rating: ***
Comments: Great fucking match despite the ending. I WANT MORE LIKE THIS!!!!
Post Match: Finlay gets his ass kicked by Mike Knox
Triple H comes out for commentary on the final qualifying match for the SD Championship Scramble
The Great Khali vs. Jeff Hardy
HHH says it was a monumental task, beating Khali. I think what he meant was
it was a task to carry his no talent ass. HHH then makes a Frankenstein joke about Khali. ZING! Hardy tries to play the old cat and mouse game with Khali but the big blueberry doesnt try and play along. Khali dominates from here on because he's so GOD DAMN BIG. Jeff tries every thing he can to get back into it but he cant. That is, until he stunners Khali on the top rope he hits a twist of fate and is about to go for the Swanton until Funion Sing gets on the apron. Trips gets involved and pulls the pip-squeek down. He then goes to crush him with a chair until Khali grabs him. The Great Khali gets blasted in the head. A BOTCHED whisper in the wind and a swanton gives Jeff the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Match Rating: **1/2
Comments: "Perfectly acceptable wrestling"
H cuts a promo after the match. I will win. Yeah we get it. Kenny Dykstra tries to make a name for himself but HHH makes an example of himm.
Vickie tries to apologize half assedly to Taker and he will have none of it. He tells Vickie IM HERE FOR YOUR SOUL!! OOOOOOOOO. The Undertaker then lays waste to La Familia and thats a wrap.
This Smackdown had better matches but I dont think it was as good as last weeks. I think its because the WWE is so flustered after the PPV and trying to get the next angles going. Anyway, thats it for this week, see you next time!!
Oh yeah, SP has a Review he does AND GO READ THE NO SMARK ZONE!!!
